A New Found Love...

This week has been so hectic. With finals and all of the studying involved...I have been in more than an aggravated mood. To make it worse, I have avoided studying for my history final until the last possible minute. I absolutely hate history and anyone that knows me can attest to that. I am just awful at remembering dates that things happened or recognizing the difference between compromises, etc. So studying for that final is the equivalent to breaking one of the many important bones in my body....hence the reason I've tried so hard to avoid it.

That being said, my grandma and I went to get dinner tonight and we decided that we would go to Zaxby's. I have wanted it for about a week now but haven't really had the chance to go, so (avoiding studying) tonight we had the time...so we went. When we got there we did the usual. Parked the car, went in and ordered, filled up our cups, found a table, and waited for our number to be called. But while we were waiting I kept watching this father and son, hoping that they would move because I wanted the booth that they were sitting in. (That sounds really rude, but I'm super OCD and that is not a topic that we have time to discuss in this post) Our number is finally called and I realize that we are going to be stuck at this booth because this father and son were taking their sweet time, and to be honest I was kind of irritated.

As I was sitting there eating my salad, I couldn't help but notice this little boy's frustration. He was trying to get his homework done and he kept getting distracted by his surroundings and wasn't really wanting to focus anyway. Eventually, the boy just broke down into tears and said "Dad, I want to go home now." I was thinking to myself, dude....let the boy go home. It's too distracting in here anyway.

At that point, the man stood up and walked over to our table. He asked us how we were doing, and pretty much discussed the basics of a typical friendly conversation between strangers. But then he asked me to help his son with his homework. I must say, I've never been asked by a stranger to help a little boy with homework, but I figured it couldn't be too hard. So I said "Sure" and walked over to the little boy. I introduced myself and asked him how I could help him... Of course, this little boy was working on history. My most hated subject but he looked to be in the third grade so I decided it should be simple enough. As the boy and I were working on his homework, he began to tell me different things about his life: how he wanted to play baseball but didn't have the time, he wished his mom would spend more time with him, he wanted his teacher to know that he didn't like her without being mean, how much he loved history because it never changed, so on and so forth. But that's when he said it.

We had just finished his homework, he thanked me and gave me a big hug, and said thank you so much....now we have time to get a room. And I said, "What do you mean, get a room?" The father spoke up and said, "We get his homework done first thing every night so that we can go wait in line for a room at the homeless shelter." I forget the name of the place that he told me, so I'm just going to leave it out. When the man said that, I couldn't help but burst into tears. I felt so sorry for these people. They are sitting in Zaxby's trying to keep warm and get this little boy's homework done for the next day of school before they have to go wait in line for a room that may or may not be available tonight, and here I am sitting at the booth next to them hoping they would leave so I could sit comfortably enough to suit my OCD.

This was definitely one of those humbling moments for me. It wasn't even a step through the door slowly kind of humbling moments, it was one of those....here's my fist and there's your face kind of moments. At that point, we knew they were hungry but as they had stated they needed to leave now if they wanted to get a place to stay for the night. But we bought them food anyway and let them sit with us and just talked with them for about an hour or so. It was one of the most eye opening moments I've ever had. We ended up calling my uncle and having him house them for the night, so that we knew they wouldn't be on the street in the freezing cold. But it is still so upsetting to me that I take so many things for granted.

I always knew about homeless people; I've even been a part of the homeless ministry at my church...but this was definitely one of those experiences that makes you change your outlook on life. I will say this much, I now have a new found love for history. I may hate it to the core of my being, but like the boy said....history never changes. I should be happy that I have the ability to pay for school and get the education I desire, without all of the complaining. I know that this was God's way of making me see things in a different light. But I just pray that I will begin to view things as they are, and not how I want them to be. Stop taking things for granted and be happy with what I have.

The Playlist Is Set.

Naturally, I have heard a lot of different Christmas songs this year with the stores starting the music in October. Usually, the ones that are played are fairly horrendous. But this year I've heard some good ones in the mix. However, the time has come for me to make this year's playlist for the Christmas festivities to come. Here are a few of my favorites:

Little Drummer Boy-The Almost

Aaron Gillespie covers this classic with an alternative rock composition.

White Christmas-Bright Eyes (Maria Taylor from Azure Ray)

Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes) and Maria Taylor (Azure Ray) collaborate to create a beautiful acoustic version of this song.

All I Want For Christmas Is You-Mariah Carey

One of those fun Christmas tunes you sing to yourself in the car.

Blue Christmas-A Fine Frenzy

Alison Sudol gives Elvis a run for his money.

Let It Snow-Frank Sinatra

Do I really even need to say anything?

The First Noel-The Fray

Isaac Slade showcases his vocals in a vulnerable rendition of this song.

What Child Is This-Future of Forestry

Magical, as always, Future of Forestry gives this cover a unique, whimsical twist. This is easily one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs.

Last Christmas-Glee Cast

This is definitely one of my favorite Christmas songs, and Glee made it sound so much better.

The Christmas Song-She & Him

Really... Who doesn't adore Zooey Deschanel?

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas-Relient K

You gotta have a little bit of good ole Christmas harmony. This has been on my holiday playlist since high school!

Who I Am; Life In Your Way.

This is so powerful. We are a broken people, but together we are strong. Never forget who you are, what you've done, and where you've been. Because those are the best things about grace. I know many of you will not like this style of music (it's passionate, and one of my favorite genres), but it's a message that needs to be shared. The lyrics below are for the second part of the video. Trust me, you will not be needing any help with the first part.

This is who I am!
I'll walk out this Kingdom not as a duty but an honor
Now called a son, I've been set free from the slavery of sin
And when I fall, I stand in the face of darkness and I say:This is who I am
My father has freed my past, present, and future
He doesn't see what I see, He doesn't see what you see
He sees my destiny and calls me to be a son
This is who I am, in the midst of a firefight; You've called me a son.
This is who I am, by the power of the risen death and what You have done
This is who I am, all I've been and who I've become
This is who I am, who I am: I'm a son.

Warning: Thanksgiving Spoilers.

At this moment, I am snuggled up in a warm blanket with a cup of hot chocolate, listening to the sound of rain hit the window, and thick wool socks covering my toes in my cozy house.

There is no place like home.

Gosh, how cliche does that sound? However, there is such a strong ring of truth in these words. There is nothing like spending time with your immediate family. There is just something about being with them in our lovely home, with our cute (and highly annoying) pets, enjoying a less than (what we are used to) traditional Thanksgiving...

Generally, hardcore Betty Crocker style baking would begin a few days before Thanksgiving. This year however, we are having a much less hectic Thanksgiving, of which I'm MORE than thankful for. Typically, the rest of our traditions pick up on the day of Thanksgiving (which just so happens to be in two days). I would be getting dressed to spend the earlier portion of the day cooking a large meal for about twenty-seven or more people, depending on who brought whom this year. After chasing a few kids around, spending some much needed time with family, indulging in our family's yummy apple pie, and listening to the kids fail miserably at Bop-It, we would all head over to Great-Grandmother's house as a kind gesture of how much we care. Afterwards, the Johnson's and Holley's would head back to the house. Once we got home we would put Christmas Vacation in the VCR (because we like the good old-fashioned tape version), all find a comfortable seat in the living room, and we would get our annual-fill of laughter.

Over the past year or so these traditions have changed, or been lost due to challenging circumstances. Instead of having a huge family get-together, we are spending Thanksgiving with just a few of our relatives, and then the rest of the mini-break relaxing and just enjoying a hectic-free couple of days. It is almost the same, except that we have far fewer people to share the day with, but that is for another post. Finally, my out-of-state cousins will make the long haul to visit us the weekend after Thanksgiving and spend a few days with us.

This Thanksgiving, I find myself blogging about past Thanksgiving's and traditions. You might think that I am sad that this Thanksgiving will not be the same... truth is, I am not. Now do not get me wrong, I miss the family members that won't be here, but I am not sad. I am happy. I am rejoicing, actually. Tonight my family and I will start the first of many days spent with the Holley's , not going anywhere; but watching cheesy Hallmark holiday movies and ending with Dancing With The Stars. My aunt and uncle will take my room, my cousins will choose their bedtime spots, I will take the couch, tomorrow we will go about our daily routines, Thanksgiving day will be normal (yes, we will still make our large meal, because even a few of us requires the preparation of good food!), and all of this will be followed by my cousins from Ohio visiting us this weekend. But, it is different than what we are used to.

I am rejoicing for that, though. I am praising God that no matter what life throws at us, we are still moving forward (I mean, we are the Johnson's... we are as tough as bricks, but that is besides the point.) Each one of us has changed immensely. We have all grown from the past year in our own way. We have adjusted, acclimated, and found comfort with where we are now. Traditions change, people come and go, but ultimately you learn from it. We are standing strong at the end of another rough year in each other's loving embrace.

And there is no where else I would rather be this Thanksgiving.

Tuesday's Thoughts.

Today, I attempted posting a video blog but apparently my webcam quality is inadequate when it comes to uploading. So until the day I buy a better quality webcam, I'm stuck with typing. Which is fine, I suppose. Anyway, I really should be writing my ten-page paper but I have to get my thoughts cleared out first. So here they are:

Everyday I think about the possibilities of my future. I get so excited about all that God has called me to do. I am constantly making plans, changes, and arrangements. I rejoice in what is to come. I pray fervently that He would guide and direct my ways that lead up to that point.

The thing is, I'm very future-minded. I'm a planner. Sometimes it is great; other times it is my biggest downfall. At times when I finally sit down and reflect on my day or week, I know that I am one step closer to my goals, but realize that I didn't do anything for the present. I think, what did I do today that has eternal value? What did I do to further the kingdom today?

I get so caught up in preparing for the future, praying that God will equip me for then and provide the means and funds for then, wondering when those doors are going to open, and studying for then. Which, is a part of life and a necessary attribute to getting things done....

But I don't want to forget about today. Today, I am praying that I would be mindful of the opportunities around me right now. This week, I am praying that God will open up doors and guide me to accomplish things of infinite worth for Him. This month, I am praying that God would remind me to prepare for my future, while intentionally living every second like it is the only one that matters.

Good Ol' Rocky Top.

For someone who is not a huge UT fan, I must say...tradition runs deep. I've never fully understood the die-hard UT fans, as I believe there are much better college teams. And as much as I personally hate the gaudy orange that I see over-enthused fans wearing, I came across this underlying truth for most Vol fans: Volunteer fans will support their team whether they win or lose because it is a Knoxville, Tennessee tradition. And I appreciate their dedication.

Neyland Stadium. One of Knoxville's iconic fixtures. To say that "Big Orange Pride" is intense here in Knoxville would be a major understatement. Even those who are not avid fans get caught up in the energy and excitement. Little kids and old grannies get dressed up in their tacky orange to support the Vols.

There are a lot of things that make Tennessee football what it is...tradition runs deep. For the many who love tradition, it is easy to fall in love with this team and these games. There is the tradition of running through the "T"; this moment is one of the fan-favorites even before the game begins.

The fans, some more excitable than others, are all cheering their team on in their own unique way. All praying for victory. And as the music swells and the crowd roars, it's easy to get caught up in the thrill of it all.

And of course, the reason why all of this takes place...the football. Sometimes it isn't pretty. For example, a few weeks ago there were quarterback injuries and switches which doesn't look too bright for the Volunteers this season. Still, you'll find Neyland Stadium full of fans at every home game saying "It's great to be a Tennessee Vol!" Because for them, it's not about whether we win or lose. It's about tradition.

The Wheat and the Tares.

It has been a few days since I've blogged so go ahead and charge me with neglect. I've been really busy lately and stressed beyond what's necessary. But today I'm taking a time-out and writing something that God brought to my attention this morning. I have read this passage a thousand times, but never actually read it.

"...God's kingdom is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. That night, while his hired men were asleep, his enemy sowed thistles all through the wheat and slipped away before dawn. When the first green shoots appeared and the grain began to form, the thistles showed up, too. The farmhands came to the farmer and said "Master, that was clean seed you planted, wasn't it? Where did all of these thistles come from?" He answered, "Some enemy did this." - Matthew 13:24-28 (The Message)

So, did you get that? The thistles (tares) showed up, too. This passage excludes no one. As a matter of fact, I once was a tare. But let me explain what I mean. This passage is referring to the Christian body, as a whole. There are the good seeds (those who have confessed that they're sinners, walk daily with Christ, and are producing good "fruit") and then there are the tares (those that look identical to the good seeds until their insides are made known). I once believed that I was a Christian, just because I had grown up going to church with my grandma whenever I got the chance and I did that "little kid thing" where I walked down the aisle and got saved. But until I finally understood what I was doing, and actually knew that I was a sinner, and asked Jesus to come into my life and save me --in spite of how undeserving I was...I was a tare. From the outside, I looked like a Christian. I talked like a Christian. I acted the part, to a tee. But when I finally got saved I realized the following, I was basing my faith on an experience that other people told me about rather than a life-altering decision that I made within my heart. I was always that girl who would say the salvation prayer "just in case", but on that day I realized that there is no "just in case". If I'm 99% sure that I'm saved, I am 100% lost. That's all there is to it. And I also used to have the belief that Satan was making me doubt my salvation...which makes absolutely no sense. Is Satan really going to make you doubt your salvation? Who is being defeated when you get your salvation in line...Satan is. He doesn't want you to question your salvation, he wants to fool you into believing that you are saved when you aren't.

Today it hit me that anyone can be a tare or a thistle. The only way we can get to heaven is through Jesus Christ, that's it. And we're the only ones who know for a fact whether we're on the right path or not. I am so glad I came across this passage today...I just felt like it needed to be shared. As the body of Christ we need to remember though, if someone you know finally gets their salvation straight...rejoice with them! Don't be upset that they had you fooled because they may very well have had themselves fooled. Satan does that, you know.

"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith: test yourselves." - 2 Corinthians 13:5

Anyway, now that I've sort of gone off on a rant...I will say this. I am so glad that years ago when I got my salvation in line I didn't let my stubbornness get the best of me. Giving my life to Christ is honestly the best decision I've ever made, and though I still stumble and make mistakes...it makes me want to lean on Christ that much more. I learn something from Him every single day and I am blessed to do so.

Have an amazing day!

The Fatal Trade.

"God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."

-Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT

Now, hold on. This is another one of those "finish the verse in my head before I finish reading it" verses. Hear me out, though. I'm pretty sure I've had this passage marked on my brain since Cubbies (and for those of you who don't know what I mean by "Cubbies," it's Awana's version of preschool). I know I have a hard time processing it every time I hear or read it, but a friend of mine brought it to my attention the other day, and I am so thankful, because I never truly grasped the depth and weight of this passage.

God performs an incredible act of kindness on our behalf in these verses. He does not wait for us to be the best Christian we can be, nor does He wait for us to even try. The very second that we accept His grace and love, He takes the broken shards of our shattered lives and puts them back together to form a beautiful stained glass window. Out of the ashes of the lives that we feebly attempt to build, yet destroy, rises a new and glorious flame as a result of His good grace.

This grace is presented as a gift, or better said a trade. Here, Christ is trading our death for His life. He took on the death that we deserved, our cross, and gave us a life that we could never fathom, His crown. Grace, the gift that the Lord deemed worthy to die for, is now what we are living for. It is only by His grace that any of this took place, and only His limitless love that we are alive in Him today.

I am praying that you would take the time to consider this trade. Are you making the most of it?

Ins and Outs.

I haven't blogged in a couple of days and I really should be studying right now but I can't seem to focus so I am just going to talk about a few things. Just some random updates about things that I find to be important...and some that aren't so important.

1. Am I the only one who's noticed the sudden rise in Facebook babies? You know...those people who haven't posted anything on Facebook in months and then all of a sudden this adorable picture of a baby shows up. But that's not it, there's always that one person who says "Aw, precious! Whose baby is that?" Then the person has to say..."It's mine" as if they're upset that the person asked. Here's all I have to say to those people...if you hadn't fallen off the face of the earth for nine months and told someone about you being pregnant, that person would have to ask whose child it is. So get your panties out of a wad.

2. It's not even April yet and I'm stressed about baseball season. No, I'm not talking about offseason...that's a totally different stress level. Which is what brings me to why I'm stressed. Going into the offseason the Boston Red Sox have lost Theo Epstein and Terry Francona. Which leaves them in a major rut. Yes, they needed to start fresh...or a "clean slate" if you will. But where do they go from here? Obviously first they need to find and appoint a new general manager. But whatever they do, they better get themselves in line, because they have their work cut out for them.

3. I have a History midterm tomorrow and if it wasn't for Wikipedia, I would have probably failed. I've been hitting up Wiki all day.

4. Another Facebook rant. (These are tiring, I know. & Apologize.) The mini-newsfeed. In the top right hand corner of the screen. What is that even for? I get updates every time a person breathes, or so it seems. I cannot even handle the fact that I can legitimately stalk someone I don't even know because one of my friends wrote on their wall. Super stalker...Not exactly a title I think any of us are going for.

5. Today has been a lovely day. Sometimes, it's just nice to sit in the background and watch life happen. Nothing spectacular has happened that will make today a glorious memory. I probably won't even remember this day two weeks from now. But it's been nice to just take some time away from all of the hustle and bustle of life and just enjoy things as I come to them.

Breaking Down Walls.

Have you ever had "one of those days"? I know I have. It's as if anything that could go wrong, did go wrong...like the entire universe woke up to an agenda that read "destroy Kimberly's life today". Well, the past week and a half has been a continuous "one of those days" for me. I'm not sure if it's because I have been sick and have had a negative attitude or if it's because the world was seriously out to get me. But either way, today I realized something I found to be rather significant. Now, it may be incredibly insignificant to you and if so I apologize. But if not, hopefully it will speak to you in some way.

Figuratively speaking, everybody has a wall that they have to tear down. It was built to guard the pain that holds them captive... Whether that be fear of rejection, fear of disappointment, fear of failure, fear of love, so on and so forth. And every smile that they hide behind is simply masking the pain beneath the surface. We cannot understand why we're trapped behind this wall, but we can all relate to it. Each and everyone of us deal with our own wall.

Basically, we all have a fear or many fears that hold us back from what we truly desire. And it is up to us to tear down these walls and live life with courage. We need to know that with God's unfailing grace, unwavering mercy, and unconditional love...He can get us through any situation. We need to refocus our eyes and hearts. We need to tune into what God wants for our lives and stop hiding behind a poorly built wall of fear. I guess I've just learned the hard way that no matter what the world throws at me, or how many of "those days" I have, God's got it all under control. I need to take a leap of faith, trust that He knows what He's doing, and stop hiding behind my own fears.

There is beauty in relying solely on Christ. Though, you may not see it now. When you look back on this situation later, you'll be glad you did.

So True.

I saw this today and absolutely had to share it.

We need to teach our daughters the difference between a man who flatters her and a man who compliments her; a man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her; a man who views her as property and a man who views her properly; a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her; a man who believes he is God's gift to women and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man; and then teach our sons to be that kind of man.

Are you a trader?

Repeat. Sort of.

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog about the desire to fall. The urge to fall, if you will. Now, that sounds weird and it kind of is. But it's a wonderful sensation really.

In the other post, I talked about how I remembered when I was ten years old, and was sitting on the ledge of our house. That ledge was only about five feet tall, but when I felt myself leaning over the edge, my stomach lurched and my heart jumped. The freedom in falling is sort of unexplainable to me. But like I said, sometimes I have the urge to fall. And it really is about freedom and letting go, right? For me there is just something about not having the ground beneath my feet that is freeing.

I say all of this (again), because even though I have this urge, I definitely protect myself from it in other aspects of life. I don't like the aspect of trust. I don't like trusting people, because then I'd have to fall. I don't like being vulnerable, because then I'd have to fall. I don't like sharing my personal thoughts, because then I'd have to fall. I don't always trust my family...my professors... my friends... do you see where I'm going with this? ...I'd have to fall.

I guess I came across this post at the appropriate time, because lately I've been afraid to fall. I've been too afraid to let myself go. Though, had I let myself fall, things might have turned out differently. I guess I just realize that when I "fall", I learn something. I gain something. I stand back up as a better and stronger person. I get what I most desire. Anyway, I challenge you today to heed the call in your life to fall... to trust... to let go, or to do whatever it is that demands you to fall. You'll gain something, I promise.

Falling requires trust. Falling forfeits control. Falling requires effort.

Falling is a wonderful sensation.

Someone Like You.

I seem to continue finding covers of Adele songs and they're always so good. Just thought I would share the video that's currently trending on Youtube with all of you.

27 Blessings.

I know many of you girls out there have seen 27 Dresses, as I have. I honestly cannot say that I remember much of the movie, but I do remember the main gist... and the infamous closet.

For those of you who haven't seen the movie, the main character has a closet solely comprised of the bridesmaid dresses that she has worn in weddings, but no wedding dress. The dilemma is that she was always a bridesmaid, but never a bride.

Now, I can see how that would be problematic. Naturally, a woman who is seeking a mate would tire of that. The longing in her heart would continue to grow for a husband, and being a part of twenty-seven weddings would not help fill that void in any way.

Through the duration of the movie though, I couldn't help but keep thinking to myself, wow, she has had the opportunity to be a part of twenty-seven marital unions. Which means, she has twenty-seven close friends or family members who wanted to share that special moment with her. What a blessing!

Obviously, I'm not saying it would be easy, but I realized that I dwell on my twenty-seven dresses so much that I over-look the blessings they have been in my life. I can look back on times or events that I thought were catastrophic and see the growth, prosperity, friendships and benefit that I gained from those experiences.

Today, remember that something good will come from one of your dresses. Try to look past the "Bridesmaid Curse" to the blessing that it holds.

Prayer and Christian Service.

Today's blog deals with two things that have been on my mind lately. I usually would separate different thoughts into two different blogs, but today's a lucky day for you.

Prayer:

In high school, I used to have the mindset that my prayers for a nation could not make a difference or that I could not pray hard enough to make a change somewhere halfway across the world. Boy, I have never been more wrong in my life. If you have been keeping up with this blog, you know that there was a time when I had people from different countries who I did not even know, praying for me and my family. I was so thankful for the thoughts and prayers that were for our behalf. Through that experience, the importance of prayer in my personal life grew tremendously. Not only personally, but I began to realize the need for prayer focused on other people, other tribes, and other nations.

As the body of Christ, we are to encourage other believers and douse our prayers on them. As we do so, the ties between each and every one of us is strengthened. However, our calling does not stop there. We are called to pray, encourage, and reach out to every part of God's creation. If that means praying fervently for a nation of whose tongue we are unfamiliar, if it means selling everything you own and moving to a country where there is not one familiar face, or simply driving across the train tracks in your hometown to minister to those who need, then we ought to do so based on that individual calling. So today, if you are having a hard time knowing what to do while watching the news of the many tragedies throughout our world, just sit and pray for the families. It will make a difference.

I was reading some of the details of the earthquake in Japan from a while back, and this is what I found,

"According to the U.S. Geological Survey, the largest initial earthquake struck at a depth of about six miles, about 80 miles off the coast east of Miyagi Prefecture, a mostly rural but still densely populated part of Honshu, Japan's largest island."-Chico Harlan, Washington Post

Eighty miles east and six miles deep, and it still made a terrifying impact on Japan. You know what that tells me? That if something that awful can be that strong, our prayers can triple that strength. No, they might not fix every problem, rebuild every home, or resurrect all the lives that were lost, but they CAN make a difference.

It also reminds me that my life full of deadlines, papers, grades, financial aid, interviews, and stress could be much worse.

Service Project:

Let me just fill you in on a little something. While looking into different graduate school's Psychology/Religious Studies programs (It's early, I know. But as we all know, I like to have a plan), I noticed something odd, you are required to fulfill eighty hours of Christian service in order to graduate. That is ten hours per semester. Therefore, it made me question whether forced service is Christian-like. Many students think that it would be more beneficial not to have required service; that way, the student body would have a better attitude and therefore produce more fruit of service in the community.

Believe what you want, but here is my thing: I was sitting here thinking about the service project, that most schools require, and quite honestly I dreaded even thinking about it. I had an awful attitude; not necessarily about the service requirement, but about the service itself. That is where my problem comes in, and I would be willing to bet it is where the majority of the student body's problem comes in. You know, that is kind of serious. It is a heart issue.

You see, the service requirement does not really matter. If I am in the right place with God, then I am going to want to produce fruits of service. Maybe not every second of every day, but for the most part, I will want to spread the love of God. I do not necessarily believe that having a better attitude would fix all of the problems, but it would make a fair dent into the heart of the problem.

Not to mention the plethora of other factors relating to the argument: Prior to attending these schools, you know of the service requirement, so in a way, you are asking for it; it's ten hours per semester, come on, that is hardly two days of work; you know, blah, blah, blah...

What I mean to say, is that God just put it heavy on my heart this morning that the issue was in my hands. If my attitude reflected Christ's regarding service, then the requirement would not be an issue when it comes to thinking about my future at different schools.

What to do on your worst day.

You know when it is coming. You interpret the signs: the clouds rolling in, the thick humidity that covers the campus like a heavy blanket, and cute rain boots that most girls wear. Great preparation is required for rainy days on a college campus. As a college student, you should be prepared with the knowledge of the local weather, appropriate clothing and outerwear, a strong umbrella, and a positive attitude on a rainy day.

When you wake up at seven to a cloudy sight, you may dismiss it as early morning. However, check the weather, just in case. If you are lucky, you may find the weather channel predicts sunny skies with highs around eighty-five. Because you went to class in your pajamas the day before, you should decide to dress up and look cute today. On your way to class, you will notice the number of girls wearing their heavy rain boots; nevertheless, smile with pride because you were smart enough to check the weather.

Your first class is Human Lifespan Psychology. It is way too early in the morning to decide what you want for breakfast, much less to process anything having to do with the notes you studied vigorously the night before. You try your best on the daily quiz that your professor gives, but with no luck you fail. You will be a little disappointed, but you will think to yourself, it will only get better from here. After the professor rambles on about motor neurons, be quick to leave so you can be the first one out the door. Much to your dismay, you step under the awning to witness a torrential downpour. Try not to have a sour look on your face as you pull out the umbrella you always keep with you. Open it up and start your half mile walk back to your car. The rain is pouring so hard it begins to form colossal puddles that cannot be avoided. While trudging the puddles that mimic oceans, you ruin your brand new Coach sneakers. If there is any hope in saving them, you will want to walk like a duck to avoid too much splashing. If the water that has doused you begins to give you the chills, go to the nearest coffee shop to get a vanilla soy latte in hopes that it will warm you up. The coffee shop barista informs you that there is no soy left, so grudgingly tell her to make it a skinny instead. After waiting thirty minutes because the expresso machine decided to take a break, you will finally receive your steaming hot latte. Take a sip of it, sigh, and think to yourself, it will only get better from here.

Upon leaving Starbucks, go back home to resume writing one of your History document essays that is due in a week. Do not be surprised when you see the rainfall as you walk to the double-door exit.

Secure your Coach purse that matches your new and ruined Coach sneakers tighter around your shoulders. Prepare to open your umbrella so not to get it stuck in the door, but also to keep yourself from getting wet. At this time, a series of unfortunate events will occur. As you stick your umbrella out the door, the strap of your purse will get caught on the door handle and rip. Everything in your purse should fall out into one of the huge puddles at the foot of the door, as well as the purse itself. You should then switch your latte to the same hand as your umbrella so that you can successfully pick up all of your belongings. It is still very early in the morning so you are still attempting to wake up and are not fully aware of certain laws, such as gravity. Bending over causes just enough tilt in your opposite hand, which is holding your umbrella and latte, to pour steaming hot vanilla skinny latte all over your hair, face and shirt. This will cause a riot for all of those watching in Starbucks. Do not be too discouraged, for spilling the steaming hot latte on you, removed all chills you had earlier.

With what feels like the world watching and laughing at you, you will proceed to grab all of your belongings and hurry back to your car. After fumbling with your keys, you will finally be able to get into the vehicle. When you get home you will be greeted with confused faces. Be sure not to judge for the looks they are giving you. You are a wreck. You are soaking wet, have latte all over you, and are carrying a huge load in your arms. Once you get in your room and get everything settled, take a long, hot shower. When you get out, you should feel much more calm and relaxed. Get dressed in your raincoat and your cute cheetah-print rain boots that you bought at a yard sale for two dollars. Now that you are warm and prepared for the rest of the yucky day outside, think to yourself, it will only get better from here.

Journey to your next class with pride and confidence. Remember that you had taken one of the three tests planned for the semester two days prior; therefore, be excited to see what your grade is. You look back on the four long hours of studying and practicing your Chemistry problems, and you are confident that you earned an A. When the teacher passes back the tests, you will find that you made an C on your paper instead. Do not be dismayed, the class average was only a seventy-two. With tears in your eyes head to your next class, again in the rain. Walking through the hallway, you may see the many drenched umbrellas sitting outside of the classrooms. You should leave yours outside as well because it must be the class policy. After sitting through a super boring class, you are finally done for the day. March out with relief that you have made it through the day.

The sound of rain on the roof reminds you to retrieve your umbrella; however, you should find that your umbrella is gone from the place that you set it. Look back in the classroom, just to make sure that it did not somehow find its way in there, but it most likely wont be in there. To add further complications to your already hectic day, walk away figuring that your umbrella has been stolen by a student desperate to stay dry. As you walk, pathetically, to your car, which again is half a mile away, recall the dreadful day and its events. You will then shed tears of embarrassment, pity, and shame. You will wonder why you bought a raincoat that has no hood, or paid two dollars for rain boots that are a size too small and has given you three blisters. When you get home, take off your wet clothes and hop in a warm shower again. After you put on some cozy pajamas you will call your best friend for a little bit of comfort. They know the key to fixing all problems so they will supply you with the comfort and encouragement you need; however, you will still feel a little down on yourself.

Furthermore, do your quiet time, pray and call it a day. These acts will cause you to relax and prevent you from hurting yourself, breaking something or any other unfortunate happening that might occur. You should stumble across a verse that uplifts you, and will feel your Heavenly Father’s love pour out on you. Again, call your best friend so that you can share this verse with her. In turn, you will supply your best friend with encouragement as well. It turns out that she needed encouragement, just as much as you did. By helping her, satisfaction and blessings will overwhelm you.

After a long day, climb into your comfortable bed. Pull your blankets up, be thankful for your warm covers and thankful that God has blessed you with such a great opportunity to be a part of the college world. Grab Buckle, your “good luck teddy bear,” curl up with it, and close your eyes. While you are drifting off to sleep, think in total peace, it will only get better from here.

Without God...

I absolutely love this video. So much.

Safety in Number$

"And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" And he said to him, "Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth." And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions...

Peter began to say to him, "See, we have left everything and followed you." Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life."-Mark 10:17-22;28-30

See, we were never meant to find security in money or possessions. Obeying Jesus doesn't always seem like the "secure" or "safe" option. Sometimes, it seems downright crazy. Obedience requires our trust. We're called to believe that our eternal reward will be greater than the momentary cost.

In other news, Chemistry is completely owning my life lately.

Courageous.

Today has been one of those eye-opening days for me. God has shown me things that I would have never even thought of, had it not been for my peaked interest in the movie "Courageous". I honestly believe that this movie will change lives. But what God brought to my attention today is how far am I willing to go to be courageous? Having courage is knowing that no matter how prominent your fear is, there is an underlying love that trumps all fear present.

Imagine that you've just put gas into your car and stepped away for only a second... The moment you take your eyes off of your car, someone jumps in it and takes off with it. Would you risk your life for a car? Would you be willing to put yourself in harms way to get your car back? Watch this video and see how this man reacts...

...At first glance you think this man has put himself in danger to save his truck. (I'll admit, when I first watched this I thought "This guy has to be stupid.") But as the scene plays out, we realize that he is actually risking his life to save his child's. Now, I would bet that any parent would do anything for their child. No doubt about it. But this short clip really caught my attention.

There are people in my life that I would without a doubt risk my life, to save theirs. Even though it would be scary I would not even question dying for them, if I had to. But actually acknowledging this made me realize the following...I say that I would die for these people but I don't live for them. If I'm willing to die for someone, I should be willing to live for them also. In order to live for them, I need to be a leader, someone they can count on. I need to be someone who doesn't just give up when things get hard or something doesn't go my way. I guess being "courageous" means something different for each person, but for me...I would say that being courageous means fighting against the real enemy and living for those that matter to me.

Being courageous means having the guts to stand out in a secular society. Being courageous means living my life for God's glory rather than my own satisfaction. Being courageous means facing my toughest obstacles with my head held high giving no room to crumble under pressure. Being courageous means living my life as a daughter of my Heavenly Father despite our world's opinion. Being courageous means sharing Christ's love with those who mean the world to me. And last but not least, being courageous means wholeheartedly loving each and every person God gives me the opportunity to share life with. Because whether we admit it or not, love or the lack thereof is lost in our society. Now let me ask you...what does being courageous mean in your life?

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

We Are Pharisees.

God's good grace. It's a popular subject amongst the Christian circles. We love to discuss what the grace of God has done in our lives, how it has changed us from one person to another, and how we have witnessed the power in the lives of our loved ones. Please, don't get this post wrong, I am most definitely not undermining this precious gift, for I too have marveled at it. However, I did have something on my heart to share today.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are."-Matthew 23:13-15

Sometimes, I find myself disassociating myself from stories such as this; especially, when Jesus is referring to the Pharisees and other spiritual leaders. The reality is, this is the same gracious Jesus. I often forget that He's not always unicorns and cotton candy.

And He did not just address them in this manner only once...

"Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:

“‘These people honor me with their lips,

but their hearts are far from me.

They worship me in vain;

their teachings are merely human rules.’”-Matthew 15:6-9

My heart is heavy today because of this. The Pharisees were children of God just as I; am I any better than them? Not by any means. If I were to run into Jesus on the streets today, what would He say to me?

"'Cause I was a Pharisee, I never saw my need for grace. Then your love came to me, stood next to mine, and I saw that I was poor."-Empire, As Cities Burn

Grace is a gift. A precious, awe-inspiring gift. Most of all, it's a need. It is a need worth dying for, and a need I need to embrace and live for.