It's the Small Things.

I've learned a lot today. Not in a "my world just turned upside down, so now I have to figure out my life" sort of way, not in a "School has started back and I'm already dreading my life" kind of way, but in a subtle, quiet sort of way. Honestly, nothing big happened to make me realize anything. God just whispered it to me with little things here and there (which I tend to like a little more than his usual way of speaking to me...which is loudly). Anyway, I felt pressed to share what I have learned with you readers. I hope that each of you can take a few things away from this.

• Life happens to everyone. Everyone handles it in their own way. You cannot handle other people's lives for them, and you cannot always handle your life the way other's think you should. You must handle it the way that you feel called to do. It is impossible to please everyone, and it is impossible to be pleased by everyone. Here is the thing, as long as you are handling your life as though God wants you to, that is all that matters.

• Sometimes, you take unnecessary lengths for the people you love. (Well, and people who you do not love so much, but that is for a different post.) But if something matters to someone who you love, then it should matter to you. No matter how trivial the issue may be to you.

• Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is an author. (This is not an earth-shattering revelation. Just a simple fact I learned that I deemed necessary to share.)

• Some things just cannot be forced.

• At the end of every day, I am a very blessed girl. I have grandparents who have loved and provided for me, and who have taught me to be the lady that I am today. I have the memories of a wonderful grandpa who has always reminded me of my worth since I was a young girl. I have a grandma who has always wanted the best for me and steered me in the right direction. I have a sister who has a heart for people that is truly inspiring, and who I learn things from. I have friends who share life with me, and who inspire me to be a better person. And I have a Heavenly Father who dances with me, sings to me, calls my name, redeems me daily, and loves me in my darkest hour.

It has been a wonderful day of epiphanies and revelations. I thank the Lord that these were not hard lessons that had to be learned, but simple reminders. Not to mention, I made it through the first day of the semester with flying colors... hopefully, the rest of the week will be just the same.

The Truth About Sexy.

A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook the other day, and I had to share it. Not only is Emma Watson brilliant, but she shares a message that I have always valued. Unfortunately, the idea of modesty is lost in today's culture. It's nice to hear this from someone so well known; not to mention, gorgeous.

"I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me - dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder." -Emma Watson

Oh, Big Brother...

Big Brother makes my entire life radiate with joy. Believe it or not, I once had the goal of being a houseguest. If you have no idea what Big Brother is, this is probably confusing to you... But here's the idea. There are 14 or so houseguests, that live in one house with no contact to the outside world for 3 months, competing against each other for half a million dollars. Sounds simple enough, right? But, like any other reality show there are cat fights, drama, traumatic events, tears...the works. But my post tonight isn't going to be about what's taken place on Big Brother, who I want to win, or even what I think about tonight's frenzy of events. Instead I would like to focus on something that's been on my mind...

As of thirteen seasons ago, I discovered Big Brother. The show always takes place in the summer but the finale is always awful timing, with school starting and needing to devote all of my attention to studying and all. That is beside the point though. The point is, that ever since I first started watching the show, I have been consumed by it. When an episode is on, I zone out of life and am zoned into this show. I mean, really? What a waste.

Don't get me wrong. I love the show, and I will continue watching it. Until school starts, then I'll catch up on it in my spare time.

But, tonight I just could not help but think about the conversations that I did not even give half my attention to, as a result of this show. All of the situations I have been in, in which this show has been involved with as well, have been void of any investment. To say the least, I have wasted tons of time due to a television show, or rather, due to myself.

I suppose it could be much worse. But I just wonder how many minutes I have wasted on such things. How many precious moments have I given away? I guess it has just been heavy on my heart lately.

It is so important that we are making the most of every moment. We must take in every second that we have with those who we love. We have to invest. We need to make the best of every moment that is and will be. Because, as cliche as it may sound, you never know when we might not have the opportunity to do so.

The True Master of Lightning Bolts...

“What is the way to the abode of light?

And where does darkness reside?

Can you take them to their places?

Do you know the paths to their dwellings?...

...Does the rain have a father?

Who fathers the drops of dew?...

...Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades?

Can you loosen Orion’s belt?

Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons

or lead out the Bear with its cubs?...

...Can you raise your voice to the clouds

and cover yourself with a flood of water?

Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?

Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?...

...Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens

when the dust becomes hard

and the clods of earth stick together?"

(Taken from Job 38)

About a year ago, I did a study of Job. It was appropriate for the time. However, I do not think I fully grasped the message of the book until this past month. It might have helped if I had dove into the study with the intention of finding purpose through suffering and healing through God. I may or may not have approached the study with the intent of finding company for my misery through Job. A year later, I am glad that I am finally catching on.

Who can deny that this book reminds us of the profound comparison between mortal and God. We loosen our belts after we have had too many snacks at the Superbowl party. God can loosen the belt of Orion just because He feels like it. Who are we as His creations to question his authority? But that is not the only matter, who are we to question His control? He has mapped out the universe, he has built a manor for light, and every element reports to Him. I am willing to bet that He knows what He is doing.

If you are like me, you fight every day for that control. If I want things done right, I have to take matters into my own hands... right? Well, sometimes I think Satan plants that in my mind, just so he can sit back and watch my plans and I self destruct. I am his little object of entertainment for the day (well, most days.) But when I let go and trust God's plan, well, that is where I find the healing.

Victor Frankl, a light amongst many prisoners at concentration camps, said that we're all trees in a story about a forest, and that it is arrogant of us to believe any differently, and that the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree.

It is a practice everyday to let go and remember that God has a better story for us, and that if we just hang in there, we might come out as a better person with a greater blessing and more to give to others. But I have been working on it. I have learned a lot so far. Mostly, life is so much easier and relaxing without a constant fight for control.

I'll Carry It For You.

I heard this story and it really made me think. So I thought I would share it with you.

...She was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. Great, she thought. Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry. She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there. She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she might find her contact lens. When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth. She thought, Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me. Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens? Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

How crazy is that? Not only was the ant carrying the contact lens, but another group of climbers saw it. God works in mysterious ways, that's for sure. I can just imagine the ant thinking Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do. I'll carry it for You. And we have all been there at some point in our life, right? Thinking to ourselves Why am I carrying this burden? Why am I going through this, can't God use someone else? The point of this post is that, like the ant, I think it would do us all some good to say "God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will."

Just remember, God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called. My prayer is that we will begin to ask God what He's calling us to do, and rather than taking the easy way out. We'll find our strength in Him to carry the load and glorify Him amidst our struggles.

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:13

Seeds and Thorns.

I think we sow seeds everyday. In Sunday school, I kind of had this idea that the parable of the sower was only applicable at the time of accepting Christ. Who knows; maybe I was too busy playing with the felt board, looking at the boy sitting next to me, or focusing on the snacks that they give you to shut you up before story time. At the time, however, I missed the point. I think we sow seeds everyday.

When I was reading the parable today, I realized that I might not be sowing my seeds in good soil. It is so easy to get caught up in the motions of the Christian walk. Am I living right? Check. Am I reading my Bible? Check. Am I praying? Check. Am I handing over all my worries and desires to God? ...Uh, oops! I might have forgotten about that one... That is a tough one for me.

"The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful." -Matthew 13:22

I have not been sowing my seeds on good soil, because I have let my worries smother me. The worries of school, work, money, and relationships have smothered me. I am sure a lot of you college students can agree.

I do not have much else to say about it, because I think this pretty much sums it all up.

"Look up at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ...See how the lilies of the field grow? They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the feild, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ...For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them." -Taken from Matthew 6

Essentially, we are Judas.

Lately, there have been a lot of things going on in my life. But amidst getting prepared for the fall semester, dealing with difficult people, and dealing with wonderful people...one thing stands true throughout it all. I came to this passage a few months ago, and I came across it again today. I've always heard and believed that God will bring us back to something over and over again to prove His point. I suppose He's doing that. Because here I am at Matthew 26, once again. And I've most certainly dealt with this issue lately. I guess for me, God's just pointing out that I need to shower others with the love, grace, and mercy that Christ has shown me...despite what wrong they have done to me.

"Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him. Jesus replied, "friend, Do what you came for." Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him." -Matthew 26:48-50

I suppose that I have always overlooked the importance of this passage. So often Jesus addresses people-disciples, family and friends, prostitutes, tax collectors, etc.- with terms of endearment. Here, however, He calls His betrayer "friend" .

All too often we disown others, whether intentional or not, for trivial things. She didn't like my opinion so I'm going to ignore her. They got upset when I didn't do what they wanted, so forget them! He poked fun at my speech, so he's not cool in my book.

The example Jesus sets here, is the epitome of what love is supposed to mean. He calls even those who have Him murdered, friend. He calls those who consider Him less than a bag of silver, friend. Yet, even with the perfect example, we write off those who we don't necessarily like for petty reasons.

Essentially, we are Judas. We betray Him on a daily basis. We abuse His grace and love. We take advantage of His mercy. Yet He still showers us with His grace, love, and mercy. Who can say that we aren't to show that same love and forgiveness to others who do wrong in our own eyes?

No one is perfect, and I don't think we are expected to be. But that doesn't mean that we cannot try. Which we are expected to do--to give 100% effort in loving one another.

Never Settle For Less.

Don't settle. Don't give in. Don't give up. Don't lose hope. Don't disregard your expectations.

Just because a few of the guys you meet don't meet your expectations doesn't mean they are too high. You just haven't met the right one yet. Chances are, when you actually do, he'll even exceed those expectations.

Just because "every other guy is doing it" doesn't mean you have to accept it. Your guy doesn't have to "do it" or whatever the new "it" is. Don't accept garbage. You deserve better.

Just because he's not what Cosmo defines as the "perfect man," doesn't mean that he isn't the perfect man for you. Quirks are a good thing. If you know that it's what God wants, don't even read that trash. It's irrelevant and will do nothing less than cause you to second guess yourself and your man.

Finally, it's never a bad thing to expect respect. But first, you've got to respect yourself, and accept yourself.

I'm far from a Love Guru, but there is nothing worse than doing my "social networking rounds" and seeing negative comments about being single, there being no hope, and "boys drool" nonsense. It really is disheartening. I hate to know that there are so many girls out there who have settled, and will never truly experience what they ought to be.

And the same goes for guys, don't settle for less than God's best. Just because the girls you've met seem to be "doing it" doesn't mean you have to accept it. If you're focused on what Christ wants for your life, you're heading in the right direction. Stop settling because society has a negative attitude toward being single, let God orchestrate your relationships.

I just pray that each of you would stick it out, persevere, and pray, until one day you're blessed beyond anything you could humanly fathom. God's plan for you will be worth it.

Stand Up.

I've learned within the past couple of weeks that if you believe in something, don't be scared to say so. When you have something to say, say it.

And when you do this, sometimes...

people won't agree with you,

people will be scared to agree with you,

you'll offend someone,

you'll hurt someone,

someone will judge you,

you'll be wrong,

you'll stir up problems,

you'll stand alone...

But sometimes...

people will agree with you,

people will cheer for you,

you'll encourage someone,

you'll strengthen someone,

someone will change,

you'll be right,

you'll address the issue,

you'll find that others will stand up and fight with you.

Really, what's the greater risk? To quiet yourselves, or dare to speak...

Silence is passivity.

Your voice can't please everyone. But maybe that's what this world needs.

Your voice, your beliefs, and your passions can make a difference.

Stand up.

Writer's Block.

I never proclaimed to be an awesome writer or anything of the sort, I know I'm not. But today, rather than attempting to speak with eloquence I think I'll write as if I'm having a typical conversation. I've had so many thoughts going through my head today and the only thing that clears my mind is writing, but I'm having difficultly saying what I want and having it make any sense. There are a few topics that stick out the most to me right now, but there is one in particular that I need to get out of the way. So before anyone else voices their opinion let's talk about it. This is my story...

Friendships. As most of you know, this past year was very difficult for me. For various reasons, but throughout the difficulties I laid the foundation for life-long friendships. I really do appreciate each and every person that came into my life this past year. They each helped me so much in their own special way. And I sincerely hope that I did something for them as well, but for the most part...I'll never know. But even in meeting new people and gaining amazing friends I have to talk about the one friendship that means the absolute most to me. And that would be my friendship with Josh Wolfe. Most people have already expressed their opinion of me being friends with Josh again and quite frankly, they hate it. But you know what, I'm sick of people thinking they can tell me what to do. And thinking that they know best. But for those people, I'll just lay it out for you and if you still hate the fact that I'm friends with him again after this post, that's something you need to deal with on your own. I no longer want to hear your opinion.

He and I were best friends freshman year and believe me, we've had our issues. More than most people would even put up with. But despite everything that the two of us have been through, or put each other through...for that matter, we're always there for each other in the end. He and I went nearly a year without speaking to each other. And by that, I mean...our conversations consisted of awkward "hi's" and "how are you doing's". That was it. I won't go into all of the details but I definitely missed having my best friend around. That's all I'm going to say about that. But I will say this much...I'm friends with Josh because he understands me more than anyone does, but that's probably because he and I lived basically the same childhood. Even after a year of not speaking, I can tell him anything and not be worried about being judged or thought less of. I know that when I make a mistake, he will most definitely let me know his opinion...but at the same time, it's not in a "you're an idiot" kind of way. He is the only person that I can be incredibly mad at and never want to speak to again, but within ten minutes be over it. When I need to vent, Josh hears it all. Not that he wants to hear my complaints...but if I'm stating what's actually on my mind rather than simply complaining, he's okay with that. And if I am complaining, he lets me know. I can say practically anything and he's not at all surprised by it, and probably knew I was going to say it before I actually did. But with all of that being said, I'm friends with Josh because despite what anyone else thinks...he has a heart for people that is really rare. He may act like he doesn't care or that hates the world. But trust me...he cares more about the fact that some stranger he doesn't even know is crying in their car than the fact that he could die on his way home from work. His heart is all about helping people when they're in need. Or simply being there for people. Despite not being friends for nearly a year...Josh has always been there for me, even if I didn't want to see it. And I honestly don't know what I would do without him in my life. So all of you hateful people need to back up and stop telling others your version of my life. Because you're wrong and stupid. :)

Wealth in Christ...

"They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on." -Mark 12:44

If you are like me, you've heard a plethora of sermons on this particular story. It's the story of the poor widow who gave a few cents for offering; all the while, many rich people were also giving their offerings. Well, what was the difference?

The widow was giving all she had; the others were giving their instructed portions.

Now, what's the issue here? There are many places in the Bible that talk about tithing, giving to the poor, rendering what is God's, and what not. With that being said, I had always looked over the importance of this verse by focusing on the fact that all were giving. Isn't that what matters? I mean, as long as I'm giving what I ought to, I should be covered, right?

Maybe I'm the only one that missed this, but really that's not the point. I guess one could say that the others pale in comparison to the widow who gave all, but that's not the point of the story either. Really, the point is that the widow found her wealth in Christ. Even though she only had a few cents to her name, she gave every one of them. She didn't just give 10 percent of it. She gave it all, because it didn't compare to her investment in Christ.

The others weren't necessarily wrong for not giving all they had, and we don't know each and every one of their stories. What we do know is that Jesus regarded the widow's offering as "more," because she completely trusted Christ with her life and her finances.

We have to trust and understand that God has everything under control. We are never truly surrendering to His calling until we simply do rather than debating on what is "safe and secure" for our lives.

I am praying today that each of us would focus more on finding our wealth and security in Christ rather than our paychecks.

The Whisper of Inspiration.

Do you ever go through those times when you lack inspiration? I mean, for days or weeks... Sometimes I wonder how we are meant to live inspiring lives, if we are missing inspiration in them. Lately I have been wondering around in a dull, boring state of life. Going here, going there, doing this, doing that, marking things off my to-do list; finally, when I lay my head on the pillow, I cannot remember how I got there. I have been getting so caught up in my tasks, getting school-ready, running errands, and such, that I forget to look around me. I think that is where the problem is.


Our problem lies within our eyes. Are they open? For myself, when I need to get something done, I have a one-tracked mind. I put blinders on so that nothing distracts me, and if you get in my way, you better watch out.


Today, it dawned upon me, that sometimes inspiration is meant to be sought after. Inspiration is just a whisper, and in this busy life, it is so easily overlooked. God did not design inspiration to be at the tip of our fingertips 24/7, because human nature would bore of it.


Now, I would love to sit here and say that you may now all quit your jobs and school so that you may search after this inspiration. Too bad I cannot do that. I do not know about you readers, but I do not have the money that Elizabeth Gilbert had to just drop everything and travel all over the world to find hers. So instead, I sit here today to encourage you and challenge you (and myself) to take off the blinders and be observant of world around you. Allow yourself to be awed and take time to appreciate something. Whether you find it in a raging waterfall, the feeling of the rain against your skin, a beautiful sunset... Whether you find it through the love of another, through a helping hand, through a hurting heart... Whether you find it in the tune of your favorite song, the hum of the birds, the clapping thunder, I pray that you will open your ears to the song of inspiration that God is whispering to you.