The Danger In Anger With God.

Hello readers. I hear it is National Forgiveness Day. How about that, huh? I have been given the perfect excuse to write this blog! What is the biggest reason we don't forgive, you ask? Anger. So let's talk about the danger in anger...shall we? I know, much like any other emotion, there are different levels of anger. Today's post, however, will focus mostly on anger with Christ. So bear with me. 

I overheard a conversation about an individual's anger with God for the passing of a loved one. I was curious to what she was saying, for I too had experienced anger with God for about a six month period in my life. While I was eavesdropping, the tone of her voice became more and more passionate and concluding her spiel she said, "I am just so angry with God, and that is okay."

I didn't think anything of it at first, because (as I said) I could relate. However, that statement lingered with me. I kept turning it over and over in my mind. Is it really okay to be angry with God? I mean, human nature brings out the best and the worst of our emotions. Natural circumstances aid in that; in fact, they beckon it. It's only natural that we, as humans, would respond a certain way to a certain stimulation. So, what is the danger of just being angry with God?

Anger provokes communication barriers. Just like when you're mad with a sibling or a friend, your talk with God is influenced. Your prayers become short and inhibited, and until these communication problems are solved, there cannot be any growth from the situation.

Anger places blame. Blame leads to resentment. Of course, God has the ultimate plan. Blame and resentment can only hinder you from seeing what that plan may be.

Anger festers. Like a drop of ink in a glass of water, anger can pollute your life and relationships. When angry with God, if it is not confronted, can become poison and build up. Paul beckons us to confront our anger the day that it occurs in Ephesians 4:26 where he pens, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger..."

Anger is prey for Satan. Paul concludes that statement with, "...and give no opportunity to the devil," in verse 27. Satan thrives on our anger with God. It's an open door for him to sabotage our relationship with Him and potential relationships that surround us.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."-Ephesians 4:31

Don't let anger taint your relationship with Christ. Instead, view your circumstances as an opportunity to grow, find purpose, know God more, and find yourself. Don't waste six months of your life to anger. It will never be worth it.

That being said...Happy National Forgiveness Day! Let's strive to let go of all of the anger, bitterness, resentment, and blame; and give forgiveness a shot.

Let Our Love Meet The Cross.

It's a shame, I believe. That the man that we ought to model our lives after is the same man that we have, more often than not, misrepresented. We can all get caught up in the black, white, and gray; arguments and debates; who is right or wrong; ministry for the sake of doing rather for the sake of pure love; politics in the church; and many other factors that distract us from the face of Christ.

"Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.
Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”
Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good."-Romans 12:9-21 NLT


This really puts things in perspective for me. Really love them... If we could truly grasp that concept, and let love drive our ministry, let love take over our churches, and let our love meet the cross, we could truly see revolution.

Love That Surpasses All Others.

As many of you are aware, tomorrow is Father's Day. If I'm being entirely honest, I wish I could be happy about it. But, this year, I'm finding myself to be less than thrilled. Sure, it has been almost three years since my grandpa passed away...but that feeling of hopelessness and sadness still shows up every now and then. I sometimes think the feeling will never go away. That being said, today I have been a little depressed (since I'm being honest) because tomorrow is Father's Day. And I've been slightly envious of those of you who do have fathers to celebrate the day with, you know...someone to talk to, to laugh with, to share life with. It's definitely something I have struggled with today but throughout the day have realized that I can be happy about Father's Day. I just need to focus on a love that surpasses all others.

I am incredibly blessed to have been raised by such an amazing man, and tomorrow I can remember and appreciate his dedication to his family. But, I can also spend the day thanking God for being the heavenly Father that I absolutely do not deserve. And for showing me the meaning of unconditional love. With all of that being said...

Tonight I've been appreciating a love that surpasses all others. No earthly love can touch it. No earthly love can truly satisfy me. No earthly love can solve all of my problems. No earthly love can complete me. There is no earthly love that I can wake up to that makes me feel as secure as this love. There is no love on earth that can validate and affirm every need of mine as this love does. No earthly love is perfect. 

Although the love on this earth makes life more pleasant, wealthy, and fulfilling, there will be days when the love on this earth disappoints. There will be days when the love on this earth hurts. There will be days when the love on this earth burdens. But the love of my Father leaves me content and rich. The love of my Father leaves me nothing but pride. The love of my Father leaves me nothing but comfort. The love of my Father is freeing and perfect. 

When I bind my limbs with chains, His love breaks them. When I run towards destruction, His love rescues. His love is impossible to escape. His love redeems every mistake that I have made. With every mistake that makes me evil and undeserving, His love covers and whispers to me that I am more than deserving. When loneliness suffocates me and fear grips at my neck, it is Him who revives me. 

He calls me His daughter and has adopted me as His own. He is the lover of my soul, my dark, scheming, human soul. He calls me the apple of His eye and He calls me by my name. 

Today, make the most out of your love here on earth by understanding that nobody is perfect, and the only love that will complete you is God's. The love that God has blessed us with here on earth is to make this life better not perfect. 

Have a wonderful day with your father and/or family tomorrow!

Single Ladies...No Boys Allowed.

Yeah, yeah... "She doesn't know my life... easy for her to say... she doesn't know what she's talking about..." BUT, I'm going to say it anyways. 

Don't settle. Don't give in. Don't give up. Don't lose hope. Don't disregard your expectations.

Just because a few of the guys you meet don't meet your expectations doesn't mean they are too high. You just haven't met the right one yet. Chances are, when you actually do, he'll even exceed those expectations.

Just because "every other guy is doing it" doesn't mean you have to accept it. Your guy doesn't have to "do it" or whatever the new "it" is. Don't accept bull crap. You deserve better. 

Just because he's not what Cosmo defines as the "perfect man," doesn't mean that he isn't the perfect man for you. Quirks are a good thing. If you know that it's what God wants, don't even read that trash. It's irrelevant and will do nothing less than cause you to second guess yourself and your man. 

Finally, it's never a bad thing to expect respect. But first, you've got to respect yourself, AND accept yourself. 

I'm far from a Love Guru, but there is nothing worse than doing my "social networking rounds" and seeing negative comments about being single, there being no hope, and boys drool nonsense. It really is disheartening. I hate to know that there are many girls out there who have settled, and will never truly experience what they ought to be.

I just pray that each of you would stick it out, persevere, pray, until one day you're blessed beyond anything you could humanly fathom. God's plan for you will be worth it. 

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

It has been far too long since I last blogged. I apologize for my lack of updates to you readers. But, if I'm being honest...given the nature of this blog, I didn't feel adequate enough to blog. It has been a crazy whirlwind since December and I came across this verse in Ecclesiastes this morning and decided it was time to pick up an old habit, again. So, without further adieu...

It's raw. It's real. It's unedited. 

"I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless..." - Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

I will be the first to admit my imperfections, in fact, I embrace them. However, over the last year or so I have been conducting myself in a manner that is absolutely unacceptable. And it got worse before it got better. This morning I came across this verse written by Solomon and it struck a chord. I did the whole "Christian" thing. It's all I strived for. I even transferred to a Nazarene University because I wanted to strengthen my relationship with Christ. Little did I know, that decision would be the best decision of my life. 

Before we get to that--I had spent my teenage years leading a Christ-centered life. I was THAT girl. Ask anyone I went to high school with and they will tell you. "She was the goody goody." Which is absolutely accurate. I loved Jesus and I hated anything and anyone that got in my way. But after a couple of years in college, and a lot of bad influences, my walk with Christ seemed to fade. I hadn't necessarily done anything wrong, but my walk wasn't the same.

Then, after my grandpa passed away, I got myself involved with the wrong people during a time in which I was seeking any cure for my pain. I began to choose partying over church. Empty relationships over real loving friendships. Pretty much pushed Christ to the back burner. I guess this was my "acting out" stage. And as a baptist, if there is one thing I know...it is that rules are made to be broken. But, I spent so long doing what I wanted and listening to the lies of this world that I completely set aside anything God had planned for my life.

But luckily, the friends I made at Trevecca and God's unfailing slap in the face helped greatly in getting me back on track. Seeing the example that my friends led on a basis made me want to be a better person. But their genuine kindness and love reminded me that regardless of my filthy, tainted soul; Christ is always waiting with open arms for me--His daughter--to come sprinting back to Him.

I am so thankful for my new school, new friends, and unconditionally loving Father...I can't even express it in words. I'm sure I will fail miserably again one day--probably sooner rather than later--but I know that despite my imperfections there is always the One and Only lover of my soul standing right by my side just waiting for me to make a move toward Him. 

My prayer today is that I am constantly reminded of the goodness and love that the Father brings. And that I will remember to focus on his desires for my life rather than my own meaningless desires.

Celebration of Death or Celebration of Grace?

**Let me just point out first and foremost that you're most likely not going to appreciate what  I'm about to say, so please feel free to completely ignore me if you don't agree.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you..."-Matthew 5:43-44

This is a time of tragedy for our country after this past weekend's elementary school shooting. I am definitely not trying to defend the shooter; however, I am trying to defend my faith. I understand that there were a lot of mixed feelings going around and about as of Friday morning (rightfully so), which is unavoidable. Hate, however, should not be one of those. I believe that this situation and what happened was entirely unnecessary, but I also believe in justice and I believe in the untold story; behind the scenes.

I also believe this event is something to be mourned. It is heartbreaking that we are in this position in the first place. It is heartbreaking that there is so much hate, so much anger, so much bitterness, and so much evil. All of these are reasons that we experience these particular events. Humankind has been dealing with all of these since the fall, and it won't stop at the death of this man seemingly consumed with evil. For all we know, this man was at his final breaking point and had absolutely no idea what he was doing. (Again, I'm not defending him. Just viewing it all from a different perspective) We must continue to pray fiercely against all of the hate, anger, bitterness, etc., and diligently guard our hearts from them. 

"We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."-1 John 3:14-15

Do you really think that this man deserves his fate any more than the rest of us? No, because we are all evil. It's by the grace of God, and the grace of God alone, that not every single one of us should have the same destiny... The only thing that ought to be celebrated in this event, is that we each are given the chance for eternal splendor rather than eternal damnation. We shouldn't be celebrating this man's death.

With that being said...

"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."- 1 John 3:16

A special thank you goes out to all of those who risked their lives for this cause. The cause of protection, freedom, innocence, a bright and exciting future for each and every one of these children . We still have a long haul ahead of us, but just know that we are grateful for all you have done and are amazed by the beautiful soul that you possess. And to the families and parents of lost precious loved ones as a result of this tragedy, no single man or woman or child has died in vain. My heart goes out to you all. 

Change Is Inevitable.

Shew! This has been the most insane semester of my college career thus far. I guess that's what I get for swearing multiple times that it was going to be my easiest. However, I have just turned in the last of my "big projects" (you know, because finals aren't just next week or anything...), squeezed in a bit of Christmas shopping therapy, and now I am resting in my humble abode, sipping on some hot tea while Ray LaMontagne speaks to my soul. All is as it should be. 

So, with that being said, a big decision has been made since the last you and I had a chat... A few of you know, a few of you won't care, but for those of you who don't know and do care: after this semester, I will be moving to Nashville to finish up my education at Trevecca Nazarene University. Knoxville has been so amazing. I definitely know why God miraculously opened up the doors for me to come back here. However, I now believe that He is leading me elsewhere... Why do I believe this, you ask? Because I simply don't have a choice; and I am thankful for that, because I cannot trust that-if I did have a choice-I would make the right one (and why after 15 years of school do I still not know or understand the proper use of a semicolon?). 

I have actually really struggled with this decision for about a year and a half now, which my family can attest to. I have had so many options of places I could go or schools I could go back to. This semester though, God just made it very clear to me that my time in Knoxville is coming to a close and I will not be returning to Johnson City. You know, I've had some of the best memories of my life in these two places, but I trust that it'll be the same no matter where I go. That is how it's always been. I'm sure that there will be trials to come, but He is my God and I am His child. In the past month or so, I have felt such a peace about this decision, and I am excited to see what He has in store.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."-Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV

In other news, I am super blessed to have such amazing friends. I literally don't know what I would do without them. And I'm so glad that they are willing to always be there for me, no matter how difficult being friend's with a crazy person may or may not be.

Anyways, I hope you have a great December 3rd tomorrow! I've already been listening to my Christmas tunes (since September...judge me), but I have yet to finish my Christmas shopping, so don't be surprised if you get an empty box with "blame the Mayans, the world was supposed to end" written on it! Stay tuned for my holiday playlist for this season...